God Jul!

 

This year I spent Christmas away from home for the first time. Instead of returning to Canada, I spent the holidays with my friend Fennia in western Sweden. I did miss some Canadian and family traditions, for instance they don't show all the same Christmas specials here (No Rudolph, No Christmas Story, No Christmas episode of the Flintstones even!) Sweden does have its own Christmas viewing traditions though, and I watched Kalle Anka, or "Karl Duck" which is what they call Donald Duck here. He is arguably more popular than Mickey Mouse (or Musse Pygg "Energetic Mouse"). A lot of the clips on Kalle Anka were familiar from my childhood though, which was a nice touch. 

It was extremely snowy in Vastgotland, the area where I stayed. I heard that Toronto only received a little snow, but there were several feet of snow in Sweden, and more has continued to fall. Above is the guest house I stayed in at my friend's farm. 

 

Sweden is sometimes regarded as the least religious country in the world, but Christmas is still enormously important. It's mostly celebrated in a secular way, about cultural traditions rather than Jesus. I did attend a Christmas morning service for the first time in life. The service was in Swedish, so I didn't understand too much, but it was an interesting mix of old Sweden (The building was hundreds of years old, lit only by candles) with new (The minister was female and instead of telling the traditional story of Jesus' birth, she told a story about Astrid Lindgren.) 

 

While the weather was incredibly cold during Christmas (-15 celsius) it was relatively sunny. I think that Vastgotland is perhaps the most beautiful part of Sweden I've been to. Unlike the South, which is extremely flat, Vastgotland has hills and forests, and looks like what I imagined Sweden would look like. The architecture in the area is also very traditional and Nordic. 

These were some of the shortest days of the year, and this picture was taken shortly before noon. The sun just doesn't get any higher in the sky than this.

My favorite part of Christmas in Sweden was the food. For the Christmas julbord we had julskinka (Ham), turkey, meatballs (which I helped to make), herring, cheese, two kinds of sausage, mashed potatoes, and Jonssons frestelse, which I used to hate but it's now my favorite. It's a potato gratin with anchovy, and is a very strange and interesting flavor. 

Above is a symbol of Sweden's large and influential Jewish community, so powerful that every house displays a menorah in each window! Either they are menorahs or a Swedish Christmas candelabra, but it's funny to see something that would be identified very differently in North America. 

 

My friend lives on a pig farm, one that raises piglets. I had the chance to see the farm firsthand, which was alternately horrifying and delightful. Seeing the pregnant sows was somewhat horrifying. I was surprised at how large they were, although many were friendly and curious to see me. Also horrifying was the smells, a collection of some of the worst odors I've ever experienced. Each room in the pig farm smelled bad in a different way, according to the particular combination of urine, feces and pigs located there. The worst was the room where sick piglets were quarantined, which was such a noxious smell I had a vertigo sensation. After an hour though I couldn't really notice the smell anymore, and I was surprised by how strongly the smell clung to me and my clothes after I left.

The piglets themselves were very cute. They were shy of people, and scattered when we came. They mostly just nurse from their mothers or pile under the heat lamp. Interestingly, the piglets themselves don't smell bad, they smell rather like babies do. The piglets are very soft as well. The above piglet was a feisty one, and quite the screamer. The piglets varied in color, most pink but others gray, black or a combination of all three. Piglets are undoubtedly cute, but seeing them live first hand and what they grow up to become kills some of the cute piglet fantasy. They are livestock, not pets.

Seeing the piglets did not make me any more squeamish towards meat. Farming is not always pleasant, but seeing livestock in the flesh strips any romantic notions of pastoral farm animals. Farming is an industry now, and the animals are its products. The pigs leave brief, but not terrible lives, before they end up as food for us. The very same day I saw the piglets, I ate ham from a pig-shaped platter. I don't feel bad about eating pigs, they would probably do the same to us if given the chance.

Sex and Catfood

One thing unique to the Swedish psyche is the intersection of sex and pet food products. This kind of convergence between the erotic and catfood has not been seen in other cultures, as other anthropological surveys have surmised. In this post, I attempt to make sense of this phenomenon, and I will adopt an anthropological distance to maintain objectivity. I warn my more genteel readers, from here on it gets a little blue.

 

Here we see our first instance of the erotic marketing of catfood. Funny, I never thought it looked that good anyways. 

 

I believe it was Daryl Bem who theorized that the exotic becomes erotic...

Oh my...  Now they have taken it too far! How is this legal?!

Clearly there is a dark side to the sexualization of catfood, leading to earlier and earlier development of sexuality being pushed on youth. I can't imagine how the conscience of the Swedish people can rest with this travesty. 

 

Of course, not all catfood revolves around sex in Sweden. Opticat Prime here appeals to fantasies of bionic pets with cybertronic abilities. Certainly he must have Terminator vision. 

Of course they do have dogs in Sweden too, and yes, they are allowed to eat. Above is a concise but accurate description of Orlando. (I've been there, trust me, there is not a lot to say.) 

So yes, that is what interested me most in Sweden the past week. Puns of catfood names. Lest you think I am not providing educational content, below I share a prime example of Swedish-American relations

This is what America is to Swedes. Not purple mountains majesty, nor amber waves of grain. Not the bustle of New York City or the influence of Hollywood. Not the wide open spaces of all that stuff in between New York and Hollywood. No. America is donuts. What I find most incorrect about this whole scene is that donuts are Canadian! 

Donuts may have arguably originated in America, but they have been thoroughly appropriated by Canadians. Canadians consume the most donuts in the world per capita, and have the most donut stores. Swedes are not large donut consumers, but seem to appreciate the novelty. Only time will tell if donuts are spared the rampant sexualization that has befallen the catfood industry.

Winter Comes to Sweden

 

It has been some time since I last wrote, but I was ill, and while I was convalescing I had to write a final paper, but now I offer an update now that we are deep in the grips of winter.

It is very cold and snowy here, and while I know winter being a Canadian and all, it has been snowy ever since the beginning of November, which is earlier than I'm accustomed to. The snow does brighten the landscape up, which is a plus seeing as the sun sets at 3:30pm now.

One of the more unusual features of Uppsala is its very large and old cemetary in the middle of town. Swedish cemeteries look different from their North American counterparts. There are no rolling, grassy lawns. Instead all the plots are very orderly and each plot is covered with gravel neatly raked with a small garden of perennials. In winter the care taken to the cemetery is less apparent, but it is still beautiful.

Here in the cemetery, just as elsewhere in life, size denotes importance. Some monuments are impressive like the obelisk above, others are much more humble. Strangely, most of the graves in this section of the cemetery date from the 19th century, but they are still visited regularly with flowers and candles.

On All Souls' Day, everyone visits their ancestors' graves and lights candles. I went to the cemetery that night with friends, and it is a very strange sight to see, each grave marked by candles, some with many, and groups of mourners wandering in the darkness. Unfortunately I didn't have my camera with me, so I cannot share that magic moment. 

 

It is funny to see that even in the cemetery in winter, on a bare iron fence, things are living. On the curlicues of the fence at one grave, lichens were colonizing the iron. 

Lest you think I spend ALL my time creeping around cemeteries (I limit my time to an hour a day, tops!) I do normal activities as well. I was recently in Stockholm, at a garden market, where vendors apparently did not learn that pumpkins are supposed to be sold BEFORE Halloween. I suppose buying a discount pumpkin the week after Halloween is a good value, but unlike discount Halloween candy, or Bowing Day gifts, pumpkins won't keep till next year. I feel as though I should educate Swedes about Halloween, because currently they are doing it at a remedial level. 

 

The flower market in Stockholm was incredibly beautiful, and something I just came across.

 

I had previously written that Copenhagen is more outgoing and fun than Stockholm. I went back into Stockholm to see if my perception was truly correct, and I still feel it's true. Stockholm is very beautiful, but has an air of formality and propriety throughout the city. Copenhagen was in parts, genuinely dirty. There were people who were truly trashy. While I've had a more positive experience with Swedes, Copenhagen is more of a party town. Partying requires a certain level of filth and disregard for order, and Stockholm never loses its composure. 

 

But it is pretty. This picture above was taken at 4:30pm. The sun now sets a full hour earlier. It also noticeable now that the sun never gets very high in the sky. At noon it never seems to rise high enough, and then just begins setting. 

Strangely, the lack of sun hasn't bothered me here. Usually I have a lot less energy in the fall even in North America, but currently I'm getting less sunlight than Toronto gets during winter solstice, and I feel no urge to sleep 14 hours a day.

Now that it's winter, Jul season begins. As in North America, the Christmas season begins here the first of November. Also, it is highly commercialized and consumerist, so don't feel like you've got that on lock America. One Jul product is vinglogg, a wine spiced with cinnamon and clove, and served warm. It's very sweet, but it's tasty. However, unlike regular wine I don't think it has the same intoxicating feeling, despite its 15% alcohol content. 

Another Swedish culinary tradition I tried recently is Fiskbullar, or fish balls. The name alone put a stop in my throat, but I figured it is worth trying. I like meatballs and I like fish, so why not some meatball made out of fish? The fishballs come in various sauces: tomato basil, mustard, dill, shrimp. I tried the lobster flavor, which suffice to say tasted nothing like anything in the crustacean family. I don't know if Swedish people know what lobster is, but I'll tell you what it isn't: wet cardboard. I tried zesting up the paste that the balls came in to little avail. The balls themselves are soft and mealy. They are not chewy (something I was afraid of.) They weren't traumatizing, but I don't think I would eat them again.

 

As Swedish winter continues, as I still ride my bike everywhere. Above is an idea of the conditions I have to contend with. It is easy to see why Scandinavians found themselves in Minnesota and the Dakotas. Snow and flatness is familiar to them. While the local accent is more charming than any Minnesota braying, parts of Sweden looks not unlike any snowy part of the Midwest. 

 

One positive image to end on. Even in Sweden, the tropics are not so far away.  

PS: Recently, this author received comment that this blog is among the least pretentious a certain reader had ever read. I was dismayed to learn I'm not doing my job right! I am trying to be more pretentious, like a true blogger. Maybe later I'll upload some Godard film stills juxtaposed with Joy Division quotes. I promise I'll continue to become more pretentious until I'm genuinely insufferable! 

Fall, Candy, Ducks

In Swedish autumn, the days grow short, the sun setting noticeably earlier by the week. When the sun is up, it's beautiful and clear and bright. When it gets dark, now before 6:00pm, there's little reason to go outside at all. So, I've furthered my investigations into Swedish candy.

Daim is one of my new favorites. It's milk chocolate with bits of toffee crunch inside it. 

Basically, it's the Swedish version of what in Canada is called Skor, and in the US is known as a Heath bar. It's tasty but not revolutionary (Not in a Marxist way at least.) 

Pigall is more interesting, different enough not to warrant any direct comparison. The inside is a light, airy, yet crispy chocolate flavored filling that is reminiscent of a 3 Musketeers in taste but not in texture. The texture is unusual and not uniform, some areas are crispier than others. 

This is known as a "Japp". It is a rather thick chocolate coating with caramel and a fine chocolate flavored nougat. It is essentially a Mars bar/Milky Way (which are essentially the same themselves.) More confusing is that Japp copies the same font and packaging as Mars, and both are sold widely in Sweden. I love Mars bars, but I fail to understand the existence of Milky Way and Japp imposters. 

Now this is a weird one, and lives up to Sweden's international reputation as a producer of disgusting food. Plopp (with three 'p's) is a milk chocolate bar with a salted licorice filling. Imagine if someone replaced the caramel in a Caramilk bar with a salty black tar. That is what this is. It is at once offensive, but intriguing. The licorice filling is strong tasting, but is perhaps balanced by the milk chocolate? I don't know. I once ate salted chocolate chip cookies that were very interesting. This is also interesting, but harsh. Salt and chocolate is a strange flavor, but not destined to failure. The addition of the rather herbal tasting licorice is very typical of the Swedish palate, and I doubt this is sold anywhere that wasn't settled by Vikings. 

But Sweden is more than objectionable chocolate. Sweden is also known for the deep respect they pay to nature.

Here a duck enjoys a bottle of wine and some snus in its natural habitat. 

Ducks have an eclectic taste in beer. Here they enjoy Red Stripe and Carlsberg, domestic brands are not sufficient. 

Here a duck rejects a proffered Abro. Discount brands are frowned upon. 

So that is all I have to say this week on the subjects of fall (pretty), candy (varying in quality), or ducks (silly). 

Food and Festivities

The traditional way to end summer in Sweden is with a kraftor-fest, in English, a crayfish dinner party. I believe summer in Sweden ended long before I arrived in the middle of August, I still wanted to try out the tradition, and had the chance to do so with my old Cornell Swedes (Maria #1, Maria #2, and Erik - Swedes are infamous for uncreative naming.) 

In order to properly enjoy crayfish, one must have themed plates and napkins. The crayfish on the plates are cheerfully gathering dill and lemons to aid you in eating them, while the napkin crayfish is lighting fireworks. The crayfish we consumed were not as lively, but they were tasty. The taste is similar to lobster, but the crayfish are cooked in a dill brine. We also ate shrimp, which come with their heads on here. The shrimp head contains some organs, possibly a stomach/brains. It is very flavorful though.

A large part of the tradition is singing songs and drinking liquor. The songs are all old Swedish drinking songs that come in a song book, with lots of variations that use basic nursery rhyme melodies. After each song you drink some snaps, with is a Swedish spiced liquor. I don't understand the songs, but snaps is nice. 

Also, I discovered a new fruit recently! Physallis, I don't think we had these in North America, but they are pretty common in Sweden, served as a cocktail fruit. It is sweet and tart, like a citrus-y strawberry. (It's hopeless to write about food, it's like dancing about architecture.) But it is exciting to discover a new fruit after I had eaten all the "big ones", it's like seeing a new color. 

I went on a cruise of the Stockholm archipelago recently on one of the few beautiful days this autumn. 

The boat we took was apparently 100 years old, but it was very well preserved. 

We left from downtown Stockholm, where the boat was docked in Ostermalm. This is the poshest section of Sweden. Here are some highly enviable apartments on Strandsgatan ("Beach Street", an optimistic name if there ever was one.)

We passed by a haunted amusement park which looked very Scooby-Doo. 

No children spin in the strawberry-octopus' arms any more, and so he sits by the dock forlornly. 

A large amount of the Stockholm archipelago looks like Canada, more specifically like the Thousand Islands on Lake Ontario. (But the Stockholm archipelago never lent its name to a dressing.) I actually took few pictures of it because I had a "seen-it-already" feeling. 

It is very much autumn in Uppsala now. The leaves are changing and falling (but not as beautifully as in Ithaca.) The days are also getting much shorter. When I arrived here in August, the sun would rise at 5:30am and set just before 9:00pm. Now the sun doesn't rise until at least 6:30am and it sets at 6:00pm. I've still got another 5 hours of daylight to lose though, so I'm trying to enjoy the sun while I can. 

And finally, a treat for all the Daniel Craig fans who have visited my little blog since I mentioned the "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" movie that has been shooting in Uppsala. Here he is for you to enjoy. 

Maybe I enjoy it a little bit too.