Denmark: The Mexico of Scandinavia

This weekend I went to Copenhagen (called Koebenhavn there) to visit the delightful Kasper and Maria. Denmark is a fantastic place, very warm and festive. It's hotter and sunnier than Sweden, and the nightlife is more raucous. For this reason it is considered the Mexico of Scandinavia. 

However, I arrived in Copenhagen too late, and the country has since been renamed McDonaldstan. However, Denmark is largely responsible for today's world of corporate entertainment, not only did they give us Lego, but:

They invented the amusement park. Tivoli was the world's first amusement park, although it's a long way from Disneyworld. 

It has an old-timey circus vibe, but I don't mind. Elephants are nice. 

Copenhagen was also home to Hans Christian Andersen, the world's most famous tortured-closted-homosexual-depressed-misanthrope whose work has been adapted into Disney feature films. Here are the stars of his tale, "The Ugly Duckling". In fact a swan with her three cygnets. There are marshes and lakes everywhere in the city. 

While I was there it was Halloween!

I did get to celebrate Halloween a little while I was there. I went as a man with a dinosaur for an arm:

The Danish do not have a strong tradition of Halloween and it has only recently begun to be practiced, but there is no excuse for this:

No Denmark, Halloween is not "15th - 24th of Oktober", it is October 31st! There is no room for debate over this issue, it's a fact, just like there are 365 days in the year, and that "Blackout" is the best Britney Spears album. Inarguable facts. 

Perhaps we cannot blame Denmark for its Halloween confusion. It is, afterall, a lawless society. Here is a view of Christiana, where cameras and police officers are forbidden. It is a commune separate from the rest of Denmark where they administer their own laws. Marijuana is legal, but needle drugs are a no-no. While being there on a Friday night felt like being in an apocalyptic hobo camp at the end of the world, they do accept Visa. 

There were 8-year olds in Halloween costumes playing beside the hash vendors, and I watched two dogs get in a fight - they bit each others faces! Kasper was scared, but I thought it was exciting. 

To overcome our fear, we went to an all-you-can-eat Sushi bar, called "Running Sushi" because the food is on a conveyor belt. Those with quick reflexes are rewarded. AYCE sushi is my favorite thing about Canada, so I was glad to see it in Denmark. The lack of AYCE sushi in America is truly a failure of liberty. 

Copenhagen is similar to Stockholm in size and both feel Nordic. Copenhagen is different though with its canals, which appear rather Dutch. 

Copenhagen is more casual than Stockholm, which is quite conservative by comparison. Copenhagen has a more lively nightlife and arguably has a larger culture scene with a large amount of contemporary art and architecture being produced there. 

Building on its historical traditions, Copenhagen is still a major design center. I met a designer while I was there, and her job is to use a computer to figure out how clothing should be assembled and fit. I didn't know that job existed, but apparently it happens here. 

This is the apartment my friend Maria shares with an architecture student. In Scandinavia, real life looks like Ikea. (Disclaimer: They decorated the room themselves, and painted the furniture. No actual Ikea was used in the making of this photo.) 

Denmark is also a city of romance. While walking back home at 4:00 am because the trains stopped running (I was so unhappy.) Kasper and I came across a romantic bridge where a new tradition has started. Couples place a lock on the rail of the bridge, and throw away the key. Some locks are kind of weird, and have three names (Polygamy is practiced in Denmark). Me and Kasper wanted to add our own lock of undying affection, but we couldn't find a locksmith that was open at 4:00 am! 

Basically, Copenhagen is really good and I would highly recommend it. It's what I imagine Amsterdam to be like, only less tacky. Being the Mexico of Scandinavia, Copenhagen is a Nordic Tijuana, a meticulously clean and effortlessly stylish party town! 

PS: Danish newspapers are shocking! On the front page there was a picture of a naked woman in the middle of childbirth, this was done to illustrate an article about natural birth, but still, the NYT would have ran a picture of smiling mother and child, freshly clean. 

Danish cartoons are also vulgar and provocative. One featured a nude Lars von Trier hanging is mother with his own umbilical cord. Another featured a phallus erupting from a beaten man's head. I know the Danish papers got a lot of flack over the Mohammed cartoon, but I doubt that is the most offensive piece they have published. 

I am a huge proponent of free speech, so I like that the Danish papers are challenging and provocative, but it is very different from the "family newspaper" that exists in North America.